Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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