just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
