Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize