It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
