Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
