I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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