when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
