just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Someone shattered a urinal.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
