do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
