then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize