they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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