I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
