We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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