I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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