I look better un-naked...
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
