I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Ladies don't puke and tell
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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