You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
