i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I'd cum for enchiladas.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize