im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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