You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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