It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
