dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
The Olympian is in my bed
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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