Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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