Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize