Whoa Z and x make the same sound
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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