Soap is not a condiment
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i think i have herpe
just one?
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
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