dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
