I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I understand Curling. That high.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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