I need help removing her.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
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