So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
