just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Woke up backwards on a recliner
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
