I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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