Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
