sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
