I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Randomize
