I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
