He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
