I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize