just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
