dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
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