Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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