'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
