How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
