A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
