Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
