When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
