Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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