I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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