We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize