i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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