Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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