hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize