Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
