My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
