Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
