Where did you get a picture of my penis
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
