Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
