people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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