I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize
