Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
