I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
