when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
