Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Randomize
