Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
pop tarts are not kleenex
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
