I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
