I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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