East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
