It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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