She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
